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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27343747">The Words of a Requiem, Twenty-Five Years Late</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/HesitantlyHipsterAlien/pseuds/HesitantlyHipsterAlien'>HesitantlyHipsterAlien</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>JATP Fluff and Angst [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Julie and The Phantoms (TV), Julie and The Phantoms (TV) RPF</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alex-centric, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Bobby is mentioned once, But He's Still There, Fluff and Angst, Gen, How Do I Tag, I Made Myself Cry, death warning because it mentions the night they died, ish, like briefly, super duper brief mention of Alex's homophobic family</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-11-02</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-11-02</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-07 00:49:00</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Major Character Death</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,286</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27343747</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/HesitantlyHipsterAlien/pseuds/HesitantlyHipsterAlien</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Alex's song in this is Hold On by Chord Overstreet</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Alex &amp; Luke Patterson &amp; Reggie (Julie and The Phantoms)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>JATP Fluff and Angst [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1996753</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>8</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>87</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>The Words of a Requiem, Twenty-Five Years Late</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Alex is alone in the garage for the first time in a few days since the Orpheum performance. He'd been out looking for Willie earlier, to no avail, but, he suspects Caleb may have Willie on a shorter leash as of yet, thanks to the risk the skater took in order to help them get their life changing performance.</p>
<p>For a while, he sits on the couch. Tries to read or really do anything to kill time until either Luke and Reggie return or Julie comes back from school. His mind, however, refuses to let him focus on the magazines Flynn brought over to help the guys catch up on pop culture. </p>
<p>No, something has been getting at him for a few days now. And, despite racking his brain for other options, he can find only one solution. </p>
<p>His fingers grace the plastic keys of Julie's keyboard with the familiarity of years of unwanted piano lessons, at his mother's demand. Taking a breath- an unnecessary action, being dead, but a reflexive one- Alex carefully begins plucking out the chords to the thing that's been bouncing around his head since the night he almost lost two of the most important people in the world to him (for the second time).</p>
<p>There's a pause as the words- one's he'd furtively penned out onto a loose sheet of notebook paper he'd borrowed from one of the notebooks in the house- come back to him. Drawing in another reflexive breath, Alex begins singing.</p>
<p>"Loving and fighting<br/>Accusing, denying<br/>I can't imagine a world with you gone"</p>
<p>Out in the driveway, Luke and Reggie have returned from their failed attempts to locate Reggie's family. Reggie hears the music first, halting mid step and catching Luke by the arm. The guitarist meets him with a quizzical look, but it fades when he too hears the soft, melancholy notes and their friend’s voice.</p>
<p>Exchanging a look, the two approach the garage door cautiously, pausing to listen, not yet sure they want to interrupt.</p>
<p>"The joy and the chaos, the demons we're made of<br/>I'd be so lost if you left me alone"</p>
<p>Luke freezes, his face doing that sort of half shocked, half kicked puppy look he sometimes gets, as Alex’s words drift out to where he and Reggie now stand. Reggie leans against the garage door, arms crossed over his chest as he listens, his gaze suddenly far away.</p>
<p>Unaware of his audience, Alex continues, the melody coming easy to him despite his trembling form.</p>
<p>"You locked yourself in the bathroom<br/>Lying on the floor when I break through<br/>I pull you in to feel your heartbeat<br/>Can you hear me screaming "Please don't leave me"</p>
<p>That night came back to him in agonizing clarity while he lay flickering with his bandmates. </p>
<p>Reggie, collapsed on the greenroom couch, curled in a ball when Alex entered. Shaky hands pointing to where Luke had gone, speaking in a ragged voice. “Alex, he- I can’t-”</p>
<p>“I’ll get him Reg, try to breathe, okay?” Alex had said, somehow being the most calm despite the fact that he was normally the one closest to panic at any given moment.</p>
<p>He still keeps seeing Luke crumpled on the bathroom floor. Still sees the god awful paleness of his face and hears the barely there heartbeat. Still remembers carrying him back out and laying him beside the couch before the pain hit him too. Every time he closes his eyes, he goes back to these moments, to the sights that may never not haunt him, despite the fact he and Luke and Reggie are all still well and performing today.</p>
<p>"Hold on, I still want you<br/>Come back, I still need you<br/>Let me take your hand, I'll make it right<br/>I swear to love you all my life<br/>Hold on, I still need you"</p>
<p>Reggie shudders, a soundless sob escaping him as the reality of Alex’s song hits. He knows what this is about. Remembers Alex was still conscious when it started to go dark for him.</p>
<p>Luke covers his mouth with his hand, the only way to keep from screaming. His other hand grasps one of Reggie’s hands, clinging onto his bassist like a life raft.</p>
<p>In the garage, Alex stands as the key changes.</p>
<p>"I don't wanna let go<br/>I know I'm not that strong"</p>
<p>He remembers Reggie's hand on his shoulder. The feeling of that grip loosening as Reggie passed out. Remembers grasping Reggie’s hand with his own and weeping, Luke still cradled against his chest.</p>
<p>He’d never felt so alone in his life. Not even the night his parents essentially told him he wasn’t their son anymore had felt as isolating as his bandmates- his best friends- falling unconscious around him as he pleaded with them just to stay alive ‘til the ambulance got there.</p>
<p>"I just wanna hear you<br/>Saying baby, let's go home"</p>
<p>Reggie sinks to the ground, not wanting to startle Alex and break him out of what sounds like much needed venting of pain that’s been weighing on the drummer’s heart. Still, his own heart breaks again as he realizes something, uttering only five words in a breathless whisper.</p>
<p>“He was the last one…”</p>
<p>"Let's go home<br/>Yeah, I just wanna take you home"</p>
<p>Reggie’s statement, punctuated by Alex’s voice just slightly cracking with emotion as he sings, hits Luke like a freight train. Mentally, he’s already berating himself for not realizing Alex had this much hurt still weighing on him from that night. Physically, he holds on to Reggie’s hand as an anchor, the only thing keeping him from bursting into the garage right at this moment.</p>
<p>The melody draws towards a close, Alex hitting the correct keys only by the grace of muscle memory, his eyes too blurred from his own tears to pay attention to what he’s doing. Desperately, his final plea to his best friends, the one, that had gone unheard that night, falling on unconscious ears- and the background noise of Bobby ridiculing nine-one-one for their slow response times, stuck on the phone until the ambulance would arrive- escapes him.</p>
<p>"Hold on, I still want you<br/>Come back, I still need you"</p>
<p>Alex’s voice breaks on the final "you" and he drops his face into his hands, mentally cursing Caleb for the marks that brought about that night in the garage that returned the memories of an awful night twenty five years prior. Were it not for the flickering, Alex may never have thought again about how terrified he was to be in a world without the two people who made him feel safest. The best friends he’d had since grade school.</p>
<p>A world without Reggie’s bright grin and optimism. A world without Luke’s passion for music and never give up attitude. </p>
<p>A world without the light and safety and warmth of Them.</p>
<p>Sobbing, Alex presses the heels of his palms into his hands, the fear and pain he hadn’t realized had been coiled around his ribs and crushing the air from his lungs finally alleviated for a moment, freed with the words of a requiem, twenty-five years late.</p>
<p>And then he feel a very real, physical weight crash into him. Then, another presses into his opposite side. And as he felt Luke’s forehead against his own, and Reggie’s face against shoulder blade, Alex freezes for half a second. </p>
<p>Then, he shifts, pulling the both of them into his arms, his sobs mirroring their own. Later, there will be questions. Maybe a much needed talk about how awful that night was that they haven't actually gotten to have yet. For now, they remain on the bench in front of Julie's keyboard, clinging to one another.</p>
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